Hey Everyone…

I wrote a long and agonizing diary earlier today and for some reason, it was lost in cyberspace…so I will do my best to rewrite what I can…

I’m exhausted! I’ve been training hard, wanting to set up a sponsorship match against Nadege in Paris when I’m there next month. I contacted Nadege and she agreed to come BUT I, apparently, stepped on someone’s toes, so the match isn’t going to happen. We will either try to do it the end of May or beginning of June in Paris…or preferably, Nadege could come to California and wrestle me here…Maybe I could even have another Live Event. Nadege is one of the best wrestlers around and I lost to her in 2002 at my Live Event then. So, I’ve always wanted a rematch against her to see if I can do better this time around. I guarantee it will be another great match!!! I’ve decided that this will be my last year for competitive wrestling. Hey guys, that doesn’t mean that I will stop wrestling! I’ll keep wrestling with my favourites as long as you want me!!! That much is guaranteed!!! But, it’s time to start thinking about what I’m going to do next…I’m growing up.

OK, now to let you into some of the things that have left me feeling so upset…After the holidays, my sister and I heard that a friend of ours had died in a diving accident off Baja, California (Mexico). We were going to invite him for Christmas dinner but got busy with stuff and didn’t make the call. We were devastated to hear about his death. But, things get worse…Last week, while I was in Chicago, my sister texted me and told me that, in fact, Rick had abandoned his house in Hollywood because of money problems. He was also depressed about his kids who were with his ex-wife, in St Louis (She had left him several years ago for another man and moved to St Louis from Hollywood). So, Rick abondoned ship (literally)! His body was found washed up on the shore not far from his van, where a suicide note was found….My sister and I are both sick about this…Rick and I share the same birthday, except he was a few years older than me.

On top of that, another friend of mine is in the hospital…yesterday he went into a coma. The doctors cannot find out what is wrong with him except that he has an enlarged spleen that is pressing against his other organs. His wife has been at his side since he went to hospital 4 days ago. His parents have flown in from NYC 2 days ago to be with him…It doesn’t look good. He is a very successful director in films and commercials, but now he lays in a hospital and it doesn’t look like he is going to pull through…He is only 44 years old.

Then one of my best friends had a bad car accident this morning. She was on her cell phone to the wife of our friend who is dying…She made a left turn and was hit by a speeding car that flipped her car into another parked mustang. Luckily, no one was hurt but my friend is very upset…understandably so…but thank god she is ok…

So…I sit here wondering what we are doing here? Most of us struggling…I feel like we are nothing but a bunch of pawns in a chess game being played by a “higher being” who is having a lot of fun at our expense…That’s not how I feel everyday…but that ‘s how I feel today. I’m sad. I’m frustrated. I just want to run back home to my mom and dad, where everything seemed safe when I was a child. Wow! I really sound like a tough girl wrestler now!!! Not so tough at all, really. I’m sad. I hate the injustices in this world. I hate that people step on one another through this journey that we call life…crush others in order to have more wealth, power, fame. I could go on and on…I’m going to stop here….Let’s change the subject…Really, I hate to complain because I have a beautiful life. Yes, I struggle like everyone else but I am surrounded by people who are kind and who care about me and I have my mom and dad and brothers and sister and my niece who I love so much…not to mention my doggies, Gillies, Gabriel and Gordon who keep me entertained on a daily basis! So, I’m going to change the subject..

Tomorrow should be a great day. I’ll be working for We Bring It Productions, doing competitive matches against Sybil Star and Ariel X! Not only should these be great matches but sexy as hell, to boot! So, check out We Bring It and buy my matches there! I promise you will not be disappointed.

OK, I’m off to bed…I’ll try to be a bit cheerier in my next diary. I’m only human and sometimes, things just get to me…Today was one of those days.

I can’t help but wonder if my sister and I had called Rick to come for Christmas dinner, if he would still be alive?

Peace and Love,

Robin x

PS Starting next month, my diary will be for Members Only. xxx