Somedays, no matter how hard I try, I fail. I work harder than I have every worked yet I seem to always upset somebody. I try to not take or accept too much from people, knowing that people expect more than I can give in return. Saying that, I have relied on people’s help in this business…and believed them to be my friends…but I have found that friendship only runs so deep. Right now I want to go and bury myself away somewhere. I am feeling really badly. I am ready to move on in life. I can’t deal with people having such great expectations of me. I want to be there for everyone and never want anybody hurt by something I have done….

I’m going to head out into the wind and the rain and go for a walk…if the rain hits my face in the night, no one will see me crying…
I will write more when I’m, hopefully, in a better state of mind…it seems I, usually, come here when I am in a sad, disturbed or moody place. For that, I apologize…but that’s me, I guess.

There will be a diary for the members later today or tomorrow…I will discuss the latest competitive matches which were awesome, by the way..Perhaps,I will discuss more of my failings as a human being, because I’m not ashamed of being human and trying to learn from my stupid mistakes and I will discuss whatever dark morose topics pop into my head…and if, by a stroke of luck, something positive strikes me, I’ll put that in the diary, too. But don’t count on that today…

Peace (we won’t be seeing that anytime soon) and Love,

Robin xxx