A Diary(Non-Members): August 29, 2012

happy Wednesday From Phoenix !!!

I was writing a "diary entry" while I was flying from Chicago this morning but this damn computer's battery died within 15 minutes so it's time for a new battery or a new computer. What a pain in the bottom! Of course, minor in the whole scheme of things...but irritating still.....

So, I will try to rewrite what was written this morning. Or more than likely, I'll just write what comes to mind now.....that's probably the easier of the two.

I'm trying my best to keep busy. It helps with the grieving process. My brother died 2 months ago, now. It hasn't gotten any easier. I still have moments where I break down and cry and I think of him more hours in the day than not. I have always questioned why "we" are here....now I have even more questions that will probably never be answered. I hope there is something bigger than "us" out there and that there is something after this life....but I have no idea if there is anything more, which reinforces the fact that it is important to make each day as positive and as beautiful an experience as possible. I have always tried to have a balance in my life between work and play. In the past few years, I tipped more towards constantly working because that was the way it had to be in order to support myself and my dogs, pay my mortgage and bills, etc. That's all very important, of course, but now I feel compelled to really make the work I do something that I enjoy. I also am starting to do hobbies and take classes in subjects that interest me. 7 months ago, we never would have guessed that my brother would be dead now. He had no idea he was going to be diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma. I'm not going to take for granted that I'll be here in a year or 6 months or even tomorrow....I hope I will be, but the sayings , "Seize the day" and "Live like there is no tomorrow" hit me harder now.

I want to thank everyone who sent me their condolences by cards and emails. It really means so much that you care for me on a personal level and that I'm not just some wrestling entertainment (although I hope I'm still high on your list of girls you like to watch wrestle and that you continue to enjoy the videos I produce!!) Also, as I said keeping busy is really the only thing that helps while you are grieving, so I'm so thankful the custom video requests that have come in and also the sessions I've done recently. A little escapism is always good for the soul. And I am thankful for my friend, Malibu, who has come to my house to do power hikes almost every day that I'm home, with my dogs and me. She is good at getting me to talk about other subjects that distract me from thinking about my loss. And of course, my yoga practice, is high on the list of the things that keep me from going over the deep end into an abyss of darkness. Yup, I sometimes do.

I have done my 200 hour yoga teacher training in Ashtanga Yoga. Now I'm looking for where to study my next 300 hours. I want to have the 500 RYT on my resume before I actually start teaching on a regular basis. And I'm thinking of going to Mysore, India next year for a month to study with Pattabhi Jois' son. This is where all the greatest Ashtanga yoga teachers have studied. If I'm practicing there for a month, I should be pretty damn good when I leave! It would be a real adventure and god knows, I love adventure!

I'm just about to do some yoga practice before I get to work here in Phoenix. Tomorrow morning I fly off to Oakland and work in San Francisco and the Bay Area for 3 days. I always love it there. My sister and one of my best friends live in Oakland so it's always a mix of work and fun. And the work is always fun, too!!!!

I'll head home on Sunday and have a couple of videos to shoot that afternoon. Then I'm going to the Hollywood Bowl for a concert that evening with 3 of my friends. Monday is my birthday. I'm not sure how I will celebrate it yet, but trust me, I will celebrate because I am happy to be alive....even with this heavy heart.

I've got a lot more that I could ramble on about but I'll keep it for the Member's Diary which is coming soon! In the mean time, write me with custom videos requests or book a session! I want to keep busy!!

Oh and here is my upcoming travel itinerary.

SF/Bay Area August 30, 31 and September 1

NYC September 11, 12

London October 8, 19

Paris October 9 - 18

Cleveland, Boston, Chicago are in the cards for November and then that'll probably be it for the year.

This is the last year that I'll be seeing new people for sessions. After this I'll only be seeing the people I know. Just a heads up for those of you who think you can wait around forever....there is no forever.

Have a beautiful week. And don't forget that you can keep up with me daily on twitter.com @fightbabe.

Peace and Love,

Robin xxx

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